Feeling at Home in France: Lessons in French Life

An adopted country and a loving family – with a little help from France Today – is what Kristin needs to feel right at home.

My husband is about to embark on a three-month oenological mission to New Zealand. As exciting as the thrill and adventure of winemaking in an exotic land is for Jean-Marc, I am just as excited to stay behind in France. At least that’s what I thought. I didn’t anticipate feeling bothered by this separation because I’ve so often romanticised the notion of a mariage sabbatique. This desire for space originated in my early days as a young bride and expat mom when my temps libre vanished. Living in the isolated countryside of Provence, an ocean away from my kin, made it impossible to entrust my energetic children to my sister or my father or a close friend for some much-needed rest.

Finding a voice

At night when my Frenchman returned from the vineyard, I was weary after a day of caring for nos petits. Escaping into books and a few glasses of wine, I read a lot of biographies about married women who managed to travel in the name of artistic expression. They were all writers Virginia Woolf, Anaïs Nin, George Sand and their husbands did not object to their wanderlust. Elles étaient libres!

Don’t misunderstand: I was not pining for some sort of mariage ouvert. I was only courting Time and Space that mysterious dimension into which I’d lost myself among the diaper-changing, school runs, and demands of my husband’s vineyard. I desperately needed to reunite with my true identity after losing her to domestic life. In the years that passed, my kids flew the coop and my mom moved in sooner than expected. Things went from school field trips to eye doctor visits. I had stopped reading those escapist novels years ago, and gave up wine; I wanted to find my own voice and needed to clear my head.

I began writing about the only subject I knew – family life and France and came to discover – I’m happiest at home (with some time alone). Still weathering the ups and downs of an intercultural marriage and multigenerational family life, perseverance is producing its fruit: a happy union and a career in writing.

Marvellous muses

When in 2004 I joined France Today, it was my carte blanche into the field of journalism. Now 20 years later, when a new edition appears in my mailbox I still marvel at the talented journalists whose work is featured inside, amazed to be part of this passionate équipe. I’m certain Madame Sand would raise her plume to our hardworking team, “Bien joué!”.

Closing his suitcase my husband offers another corny joke and I laugh. I’m going to miss him. Virginia Woolf was right: all I needed for creative expression was a room of my own – and my family and France as my marvellous muses. Finally, merci beaucoup, France Today, for giving my voice a chance to travel farther than my dreams. Félicitations to fellow writers and readers on the 200th edition!

FRENCH VOCABULARY

• LE MARIAGE SABBATIQUE = marriage sabbatical
• LE TEMPS LIBRE = free time, leisure time
• ELLES ÉTAIENT LIBRES = they were free
• MARIAGE OUVERT = open marriage
• UNE ÉQUIPE = team
• LA CARTE BLANCHE = free ticket
• BIEN JOUÉ = well done, good job
• FÉLICITATIONS = congratulations

Kristin Espinasse is the author of Words in a French Life, Blossoming in Provence and the French Word-A-Day blog.

From France Today Magazine