Golden Years : Lessons in French Life

Blessed with an adventurous spirit, Kristin’s mother is enjoying her golden years in France.

Since fulfilling my dream of moving to France, my mom has been present at every milestone. Though an ocean away in Mexico, Jules packed a tuxedo, braving the friendly skies to walk me down the aisle at a cathedral in Marseille. She left Yelapa for the birth of Max and, two years later, for Jackie’s naissance in Aix-en-Provence. When we moved to the vineyard, Mom touched down near Sainte-Cécile-les-Vignes for la vendange in time to cheer the harvesters with her charm and charisma. A gypsy at heart, Jules dreamed of retiring to a tree house on the hill above the oliviers when we moved to Saint-Cyr-sur-Mer. No EHPAD in her future! I used to shake my head at Mom’s outlandish ideas – une cabane dans les arbres, vraiment!

Notre Pérégrine/Our Outlander

When Mom became une veuve and was left alone in Mexico, it was a turning point in our lives. How many can relate to the challenge of caring for a parent abroad? Over the phone, my sister (in Denver) and I discussed options: Heidi had a renovated basement and I had a converted garage. Was either suitable? Meanwhile, Jules found a solution. “I’m moving to the jungle!” our outlander declared, echoing a longtime dream of swapping her condo at the marina for the lush hinterland. Her housekeeper’s brother had a rental – a tin-roofed structure along a crowded dirt lane dotted with pigs, chickens and poubelles. Heidi and I were dubious, but Mom insisted she’d have a village watching over her. She eagerly moved to her paradise, finding joy in sweeping up the neighbourhood, a band of local children in tow. Thousands of miles from Mexico, Heidi and I were going through similar transitions: her lease was up, and my husband and I had abandoned the vineyard for a small bungalow. Just as we were settled, Mom was robbed at home.

Le sauvetage/the rescue

Heidi flew in and swooped her out of Paradise Lost. Mom’s life savings were stuffed into envelopes and taped inside their blouses before mother and daughter cleared customs, reorganised in Denver, and Mom flew on to France, her worldly possessions (including tropical monkey lamps and a marble chest) crammed into three valises. We added a kitchen and bath to our glorified garage before Jules moved in with our lovable golden retriever, Smokey, to imagine her future.

Stay? Move to Spain? Return to the Arizona desert where she raised us? Our ‘artist-in-residence’ needed little, though she yearned for a scooter – an idea we vetoed until it became clear even to Mom that she was slowing down. In the six years since she immigrated, Mom hasn’t learned French but navigates this foreign life using the language of her heart. It’s the same language my sister and I practise as we accompany Mom through this stage de la vie, figuring out long-term care options for our free-spirited elder. Jules still wants a treehouse. Et pourquoi pas? These are her golden years in France, the land where dreams come true.

FRENCH VOCABULARY

• LA NAISSANCE = birth
• LA VENDANGE = grape harvest
• L’OLIVIER = olive tree
• L’EHPAD = nursing home
• LA CABANE DANS LES ARBRES = treehouse
• VRAIMENT = really
• LA PÉRÉGRINE = outlander
• LA VEUVE = widow
• LA POUBELLE = garbage
• LE SAUVETAGE = the rescue
• LA VALISE = suitcase
• LA STAGE DE LA VIE ET POURQUOI PAS = stage of life and why not?

From France Today Magazine